holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Holy shit dude........stairs
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
