Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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