I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
