So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
