It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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