I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
