party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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