As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
