epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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