Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

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(818): View more from California

Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.

(818): View more from California

Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.

(818): View more from California

And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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(817): View more from Texas

My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.

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(586): View more from Michigan

He corrected my spelling during sexting.

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