The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You need Xanax blowdarts
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
