She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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