Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
