shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
