well I can't set my house on fire every night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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