Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
false alarm. still invincible.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
