She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just puked most of my soul out..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
