i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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