Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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