If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
