Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
