the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
