She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
