i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
