So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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