Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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