your room smells of hookers.
And success
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
