spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
