we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
