On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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