Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
