I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
