best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
