So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
