So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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