I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
