When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
