Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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