i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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