You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
