Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
