oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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