Moan for me like Helen Keller
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
