i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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