I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
