he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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