She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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