you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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