life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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