Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize