If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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