I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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