I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
