I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
