brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
